Dafoe might play a flamboyant homo, but he's also a total self-hating homophobe. When they kiss in public, they make sure to first cover their mouths with their leather gloves. Obviously the brothers are humping, but we never have to see it. Unfortunately, he and his 29 replacements all mysteriously die on the way to Boondock, so the send the best of what's left: Willem Dafoe, a gay, manic insane person.ĭon't worry, though. The murder of these two Russian criminals gets the FBI's attention, so they send their best man to investigate. But Boondock Saints cannot exist on separate floors, so the toilet brother breaks the toilet and drops it off the roof onto one Russian while hitting the other with a his own ass. They tie one Boondock Saint to a toilet and take the other one downstairs. They come to the Boondock Saints' studio loft to shoot them in the head for what they did to their asses. The next day, the diapered Russian criminals vow revenge. Rather than put up with that, the Boondock Saints head butt the Russians' tummies then set their asses on fire. One day some Russian criminals come into Criminals, demanding that the bar close immediately so they can take it over. They hang out with criminals at a criminal Scottish bar known as Criminals, which is run by Chris Riminal, an elderly gentleman with Tourette's, which in The Boondocks Saints world, manifests itself as a stutter with occasional swear words he probably would have been saying anyway. The lightening bolt not only split them down the middle without any hemorrhaging, but knocked six languages into their brains as well, granting them confidence enough to be huge assholes. But one day they were magically separated by a bolt of lightening. The Boondock Saints is about two Scottish twins named Harry and Harrison who spend the first couple decades of their life conjoined at the hip. Given the religious angle, I wouldn't be surprised. I also happen to know that God really wants to break into the Hollywood game and sometimes tries to do so by putting known names on his piece of shit movies. Boondock Saints could have been one of those.
BOONDOCK SAINTS WILLEM DAFOE MOVIE
Sometimes, when you piss enough Hollywood people off, they all get together behind your back and make a bad movie to put your name on. I'm not absolutely certain I made it at all. Honestly, I have no idea why I made The Boondock Saints.
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